It's that time of the week where I like to say...Scott it's your turn to write!

(Awww look how young we look)

Keeping the flame burning

I hope you have tucked the children in bed or have at least blindfolded them, because this week’s post is a more adult theme. No, we’re not going to be getting blue here, however the subject doesbegin on a blue, depressing confession.

What I have begun to realise now about Laura and I, is that as both writers and parents, we don’t have a lot of quality time together. If we’re not working or parenting, we are sat facing a screen concentrating on anything else but each other. It’s sad really, the time balancing game is a tough oneand if you’re not careful it can cause things to tip and fall.

If you are married, engaged or in a relationship you'll know how this feels, no matter what your job is or how many children you have. Fatigue, frustration, busyness and boredom doesn’t warrant good time with your significant other, it also doesn’t help you feel sexy.

Unless you’ve sworn yourself to future celibacy (which is fine) that sort of thing is still part of that flame you two keep alight. It’s the burning passion you forever share for one another through thick and thin which burns brighter with every show of affection. And therein lies the secret, you have to keep fuelling that flame, because you love one another.

First, set some time aside. Pick a day you’re both free and jump on it. Find a babysitter you trust to have the kids. My parents always used good friends and family to stay over while they went out (now I know why…). Once you’ve got a date set, you can do one of two things: get excited for the date together or be spontaneous.

If it’s planned, spend the build up getting one another excited. It should be, you’re doing something you both want to do. If you’re going somewhere, dress up for the occasion and make it special. Don’t rush home either, go explore other things. If you’re going to dinner, go somewhere to have fun together…or maybe somewhere quietly together. A park (not a playground, don’t mess yourselves up), a beach or even a quiet road gives you just the right amount of space and time to talk about one another romantically.

If you choose to go spontaneous, the most important thing about being spontaneous is setting the mood up. There’s no point offering a surprise to a partner who is REALLY not in the mood. Tee yourself up with hints and maybe even a gift to let them know you’re thinking of them. Prepare your surprise! If it’s at home, go the extra mile to set it up. It is simple, yet effective. Perhaps surprise them with a prepared meal (homemade, not a Rustlers burger)…or maybe a massage? Light some candles and even have some music playing. Make sure the music’s gentle and slow, not demonic death metal.

Then at the end of both, you can seal the deal…what? I’m going to spell it out for you or suggest things? No, that bit I’m going to leave for you to come up with.

It’s hard to express this to single parents, who I do apologise to. However, that’s not to say that chasing a flame isn’t out of the question. Relationships or simply some fun, don’t deny yourself of happiness. Go on dates and don’t be afraid to get back out there. There’s no pressure, but there’s no need to avoid it.

So, in conclusion, I just want to say how appreciative I am of having a wonderful and loving fiancée that melts my heart with every day. What I miss is the chance to do what we’ve never really given ourselves the opportunity to do…appreciate one another’s company. Don’t let that happen to you, enjoy love, embrace romance and express the affection you really deserve.

P.S – If I am suddenly responsible for a sudden outburst of newborn children, I insist on taking credit and naming them with the following names:

• Quentin

• Mr. Tumble III

• Hoartensia

• Chadwick

• Tuna

• Bognor Regis

• Luigi-Mario

• Tinky Winky

• Dipsy

• Lala

• Brum

And

• Glockenspiel

Have a great weekend!

 I have to say I am a self confessed cake addict. If anyone at work has made cake and left it for us in the staff room I'm like a magpie grabbing shiny things!

Fortunately Find Me A Gift sent me this gorgeous I Heart Cake Mould to review so it could be my turn to take some yummy treats into the work place.

I drafted in my now ex assistant manager (boo!) Katherine to help as she's got a better array of cookbooks than I have. Also she always manages to make a cake rise rather than sink in the middle...

Extremely Chocolatey Chocolate Cake

Preheat oven to 180 Degrees.

150g soft butter

250g caster sugar

150g self raising flour

125g sour cream

4 medium eggs

50g cocoa powder (we used Green and Blacks)

1tbsp baking powder

Pinch of salt

A few drops of vanilla essence

We combined all the ingredients in one bowl. No sifting, no whisks, just folding it in gently.

When it was a smooth mixture we popped it in the cake mould and let it settle before putting it in the oven for 40 minutes (or until a skewer is clean).

As you can see we realised we could have used a lot more mixture than we thought as it didn't rise as high as we hoped. We also had a huge lump in it so we turned it upside down and rested the taller part on a plate to even it out as it cooled. We had no problems getting the cake out the mould as the silicone meant it was completely non stick!

While it cooled we made the icing.

Icing

100g dark chocolate

550g icing sugar

250 butter (softened)

2/3 tbsp water to make the right consistency.

After whipping up a batch of the icing (it did go a bit thick and less creamy than we hoped!) we put a generous helping on the cake. It was a bit tricky to get the edges neat but it isn't a homemade cake without the quirks!

Finally we cut a slice to see if it really did look heart shaped. And it did! We did cut it a bit wonky but you can tell what shape it is. One thing we did find was the the slices were massive portions so we ended up sharing the slice as the cake was really rich anyway. 

And seeing as it's already eaten at work I assume my colleagues agreed with us too!

A few nights ago I started re-reading one of my favourite books. Despite my best efforts to stray away from having my favourite books as coming of age love stories I can't help but fall in love with them. Knowing that my own story is tangled up in a web of youth and growing up fast, I find a comfort in stories that revolve around this age bracket that I feel I remember and have lived through so much of.

That's why I wanted to write a story. Not directly my story. But one that I can read and know that things turned out good for the character so of course they turned out good for me. The journey along the way may be different but the end result is still the same. 

I've had a mind block. Before even putting pen to paper I heard and read people say that what my story would be about has been done countless times and no one wants to read an over saturated market. 

And then I remembered that most books fall into an over saturated market. How many chick lit books don't have the same formula, that's why so many people read them. How many crime books have twists and turns with false accusations and a closed case at the end of it.

People like familiar. As long as a story can stand on it's own to feet as a story that isn't a direct copy of someone else's. Stories are made to laugh, cry, scream and shout about. Why can't my book be the same at some point?

So I will write my story. If it's a coming of age love story then so be it. If it's a harrowing crime book then I'll just hope that my future doesn't follow that path. And when I'm done I'll be proud of it. 

I realised the other day that there were so many things that I experienced as a child that Max would never understand. 

Watching a VHS

Only having 4 channels on my TV

Using a Walkman

Most things technology based. It's crazy how advanced things have got in a few years. Max now knows how to use an Ipad, how to get onto Netflix and so many other things that it baffles me! Most of the time it's a struggle to get him off one of these things once we've got him on it.

Until he find's a CD player. 

Then he's lost in a world of music!

So on Saturday I was invited to the #southamptonmeetup. Run by Hannah (who did an amazing job) we all met up in Orange Rooms in Southampton for a bit of a get together. Whilst there were some familiar faces from the last blogger meet I went to, there was also an abundance of new faces and new blogs for me to read!

I didn't take any photos but the afternoon was a blast, I had such fun letting myself be Laura instead of mummy, that's not to say that I didn't talk about Max loads though. I never shut up haha.

Hannah also made some gorgeous goodie bags for all of us filled with amazing things from nail varnishes to tights and cake pops!

Being in a bit of a blogging rut it was really nice to chat to other people and find out their opinions on things whilst working out how I can make my blog feel better for me. Because after all isn't that who a blog is for first and foremost.

Have you been to any meet ups recently?

Everyone has heard of Heelys. If you don't then they shoes with the built in wheel so that children (and adults) can skate about on them. I've always been dubious about these shoes as they have had mixed reviews from children skating too fast or using them inappropriately but I was surprised with how sturdy and safe they were.

When they arrived in the box you get some shoes, a lock and some wheels. The wheels need to be put in the shoes which is a simple 3 step method. One thing I did notice was that the shoes do come up a tad small because the insole is quite high in the shoe. Best bet is to get the size up and then wear thick socks or use your own insole aswell to make them fit a bit better!

The shoes were really easy for Max to walk in when he wasn't skating but it took him a bit of time to get the hang of the skate aspect of it. We made sure that he held our hand and went to the local park to test them on grass and tarmac. Obviously tarmac made for a smoother skate but the grass was great for Max as he didn't go too fast or slide about accidentally. It would have been good to have been able to pop the wheels away quickly when we didn't want them but found it was quite tricky to take them out and didn't want to carry all the other parts with us. 

These Heelys can be bought from Skates and are reasonably priced at £49.95.

*we were sent these to review*

I've never done one of these before, and now that Max is nearly out of nappies and doesn't need hundreds of things carting round it means that I can use my bog for my things all the time!

Now along to my stuff. 

I have my sunglasses which I love, I may have to buy a new pair though as they have a bit of a scratch at the edge of one of the lenses. 

My Tangle Tamer as my hair is always knotted, especially before work so this is perfect for making it look a bit neater.

My Cath Kidston purse which I've had for about 3 years now and hasn't died on me! It's always stuffed with receipts. 

Clinique Chubby stick for when I'm on a night out, not so much for working as I only work in a book shop!

Benefit Fake Up. My go to makeup when I don't have enough time to put my face on before work. 

EOS Lip Balm that my darling friend Jess got me. It smells divine and I love it.

Soap and Glory Hand Food. I work with books which really dries out your hands so I am applying this about three times a shift to keep them hydrated and soft. 

Lush Vanillary. This is my go to scent for work as it can be hidden in a drawer behind the desk (along with my hand cream and lip balm) so when I get a bit musky from the old books I can apply some more!

And finally a book. I mean I do work in a book store after all. At the moment it's my Neil Gaiman 'Fortunately The Milk' proof which is such a hilarious children's book that everyone should read it when it comes out. 

So that's a boring look at the abundance of contents for my tiny bag. 

We love visiting new places and when we heard that a new soft play had opened up in Bournemouth we knew we had to try it. 

Except this soft play isn't very soft at all. Treehouse Family Play is actually an indoor treehouse with all things wooden, rope and fake grass. It's so refreshing to find somewhere different.

Making the Most of Minimal Moments

If there’s one thing I have to admit about my life, it’s no cake walk. Mine and Laura’s jobs work with me working the morning and Laura the evening, with little time to relax or talk before she heads out the door. The Saturday is my full work day, by the time I’m done in the evening, I’ve hardly seen Max and I have little time to see Laura. After spending most of my spare time writing in the evening (including these posts) and catching up on my favourite things, when you look at it, we have hardly any time together as a family.

The one thing Laura and I promised to do was to make the most of the time we spend together, either on the Sunday or the few mornings I have off (that aren’t meeting filled). So we take the little money we have and put it towards a good time. We travel to soft play areas where Max can be unleashed onto other kids not ready for his jelly. We go to parks where similar carry on ensues. We take trips to zoos, farms and aquariums where animals can witness what humans are like in the wild.

This mostly sounds like a pattern emerging of Max just letting loose on the unsuspecting public…in some ways I’m kind of glad he does. I can imagine it is something unusual for most people to see, my son being the loudest, most mobile, most bizarre, most frustrated and most energetic anything they’ve seen for a while. When I think about the way he behaves, it’s sad to say, but I understand why he is like that. We are miles from our family that he sees from time to time and now out of childcare away from his friends (thanks to his un-established, not so rich parents). He simply spends his time in our small, quite boring flat with only a few toys and one TV channel that caters his entertainment.

Now, before it sounds like I’m telling a sob story, save your Kleenex boxes, this post gets happier. It’s these moments that we cherish the most as a family, enjoying life even if it is brief. We can go explore places, revisit places, bring friends, meet friends and have an adventure of our own. We have fun; we laugh hard, play hard and eat far too much when we could’ve brought lunch with us. It really is a rollercoaster with a twist. Now, as an outsider sure, when you look at the big picture this must be somewhat exhausting, it bloody is. Everyday my body demands more coffee, more food and if it’s too much junk food, expect to crash land before 10 o’clock. However, I want to show you something I did learn and it happened yesterday.

Look at the picture attached to this post, this semi-posed picture of Max and me resting on the bench, pointing to the clouds. Yesterday, we took an unscheduled trip to the park, bailing on moving furniture out of our flat. The way we ended up as we were came from hiking through the woodlands of out nearby park and playing field. I took a moment to rest on the bench and cloud watch, something I’ve always loved doing. For the fraction I spent on there I pondered how we forget our troubles when we are in a tranquil state and notice that life really is fantastic. Through all the stress and bedlam we face daily, one step back and you discover you and only you get a chance to say things are great for me. I look down next to me and I notice Max copying me, looking up at the sky and smiling. That’s when it really hit home that even he gets to realise these things and do what he really wants to do…have some quality family time. We pose, the pictures snapped, the day is done before he head back to reality.

This picture, that day is something I want to end this post on. I’m not the only person that does get tucked under plans and jobs with little around me and not a lot of time to themselves. But, if you have even the slightest moment, like morning before work, seize it. Go out and enjoy yourselves, it’s wrong to keep working and stressing, it does no good to you or your general enjoyment. Take those trips out they can be small or big (they can have planned lunches so you probably save more money than us) then when you’re on them, just switch off. Don’t put it past you to go vacant for just a second, then tune back in and look where you are. You’re enjoying yourself, you’re around your child(ren) with family or friends and they’re enjoying themselves. Minutes seem to fly by, but if you stare at a clock and watch a minute go by, it doesn’t seem so fast. Appreciate the little breaks and pit stops from the grind, it does turn out to be worth your while when you see just how fantastic a parent and person you can be.

Have yourselves a great weekend, ‘till next time everyone. 

So I work in a book shop. This is probably the best and worst place for me to work. On one hand I get to find new books, meet authors, read fantastic proofs and champion some of my favourite titles. On the other hand it leaves me broke most months.

I love books. For as long as I can remember books have always been my safe place. I can curl up in a corner when things are going wrong and read. I'm transported to somewhere that is different. Somewhere that for one moment I don't have to worry about bills, work or other grown up things. 

I have life long favourites that I can turn to and find the right bit I need to make me feel so much better. And new books are always so exciting.

Working in a bookshop will never be long term for me. Only because it really doesn't pay well and I want to spend more time writing myself. Being in there has given me the bug to write something down myself. 

Do you love books? 

Especially when it's one that you get to photograph of some of your favourite friends!

Last month my two friends Jess and Steve finally got married. It had been a long time coming and when I was asked to take the photos I almost squealed with glee. Despite putting down my camera full time career wise I most certainly pick it up for work like this.

Finally I wish Jess and Steve a beautiful future together. I loved being part of their wedding not only as friends but as a photographer (and crepe paper fluffer extraodinaire!) I would say I can't wait to see you soon but I only saw you a couple of days ago..

I am the worst at starting craft projects and never finishing them. I have four cross stitches half done in a box which I should probably complete. I've also bought so many card making things that I should open a shop. Craft magazines are the best thing ever as you can pretend you are amazing at something whilst terribly sucking at it. 

See I never used to be bad. I got an a* in my gcse textiles, I just forgot how to do it. Which is why I asked my darling Scott to get me a sewing machine for my birthday. At least then projects can be quick and I love the sound of a sewing machine hammering the fabric into something that resembles a shop bought item.

So I set myself a task, not an easy one for me. To create an envelope cushion cover for Max with the logo of the Aquabats. If you aren't familiar with them then here is a photo.

So I snuck into Max's room and popped it in his bed with him. He snuggled straight up to it and fell asleep so I'm assuming it was a hit! He now brings it everywhere with him so I should probably make him a smaller, more portable one.

Are you crafty? If so what have you made recently?

I love this time of the week, not only do I get a break from writing the lovely man in my life gets to put across his experiences too. 

Hi there everyone. It’s Friday and by popular demand (or just Laura said so) I’m posting 

again for the Friday special. This week’s topic is being a student and a parent. I want to talk a little about the life I had being one then see if I can offer a little confidence to anyone going into education with a child or has a child whilst in education.

Most students when first arriving at either College or University have the plan to experience life away from home, feel the weight of responsibility and learn to manage it, they focus hard at their course, look to think of the future and chase their prime goal, independence…and of course party like it’s going out of style. However, they DO NOT plan parenthood.

Neither had I when I went to University. I wanted to be a famous scriptwriter; I wanted to be free and adult for once. That road had to stop because I came down with a serious case of parent at the year of my first year.

My plans for living needed to change, my aspect on writing needed changing and I needed to grow up (I couldn’t even manage that).

Fortunately I had Laura as my partner. Together, we deferred a year of university to structure our lives a bit, we found a place to live as a family, we got jobs, we agreed to finish the courses we started and chase the dreams we have.

To conclude quickly, I left University with a 2i which is miles better than before, I made a bunch of contacts and friends that I still stay in touch with, I know what I want to do with my degree now…didn’t grow up, but I became less incompetent.

After the four years I had, here are the few things I’d suggest while in education as parent, be you a parent now or soon to be:

Childcare - We organised childcare for the Sprog while we were at University which was supportedby Student Finance and funding varies if you don’t or can’t get a job in the meantime. It’s a serious pain to organise and keep on top of, but it helps out. We were lucky to have such a wonderful nursery on University campus that was a fantastic environment for Max to grow up in. Childcare, in any form is needed because it was so crucial to me finding enough time to study and network whilst at Uni. Look it up early so get those spaces, in case that fills up.

Stay connected - Life did change a bit socially afterwards, most of my year was super excited to have the first and only course baby (not an achievement that’s too big to celebrate…but screw it someone’s gotta’ come first, WEEEEEEEEE!). However, they got to carry on whilst I stayed back and focussed on other things, which did suck because I missed the nights together. However, when Max was born, I was never short of visitors and people asking about the family, which did sweeten things. My course friends were also very kind to introduce me to my soon to be year group, which helped me throughout the rest of my course. It’s always good to stay sociable, okay you can’t go out constantly, but keeping in touch and hanging out when you can will save you feeling alone, lost for a good while it was table for one at the lonely table for I.

Don’t give up - Stay the course if you’re serious and passionate about your studies. It is hard, it comes with having more than one responsibility whilst balancing studies and deadlines and exams. With the course, a job and It pays off so much to keep trying hard and balancing everything, I promise.

Take support if you need it – I have been SUPER SUPER lucky to have Laura with me whilst studying, especially in my final year when I was the last one to finish their course. I really am forever indebted to this woman for her giving me the love and support I needed when I was on the floor crying, saying ‘I can’t do it, I suck’. She picked me up, got me back on my laptop and kept me going. However, if you don’t have that luxury of your partner being there, time to look to your course coordinators. Most lecturers understand and will help you when you ask for it. If you need a deadline extension because things aren’t going swimmingly and lack of sleep is ruining study time…time to take a timeout and request for mitigating circumstances. This will extend a deadline for you to catch up without failing. I did have to use one at one point just so I could stay on board, it paid off just so I could keep things going.

Don’t use parenting as an excuse not to – Whilst at Uni. the family helped organise a festival event on campus, I went to London for a big screenwriting festival, I helped out with other peoples projects, I underwent work experience over months and contacted other writers and producers within my area for advice. Just because you’re a parent, doesn’t mean you should excuse yourself from trying to get involved. Parenting is not a burden, for me, it helped me talk to other parent writers and learn from those who went through what I did (yes, I know! We’re not alone!). Get stuck in, love it and don’t let anyone say you can’t (unless really, it’s just not going to work).

And finally… 

Embrace it – Thing is, parenting isn’t too distant from student life anyways. You’ll find that you turn up to early morning lectures like most students. Tired, headache and broke. You’ve just not slept, because baby says so, the rhythm told them to stay out. Your broke from nappy purchasing, not the bottle and you’re so tired anyway you pick up the wrong bottle and ruin your night. Ever tasted baby milk? It’s not gonna’ replace the shit I use on my cereal and coffee that’s for sure. Regardless, it all leads to a happy end.

I’ve covered most of the life I’ve just lived. If you too have great advice please share it, it’s not a secret. If you have more questions to ask, contact me if you like on twitter @SJCastle_ (I know, I made this account pre FriDad and Writing-Dad) I’d be more than happy to help.

If you’re currently thinking of applying for college or university with a child(ren) or you are expecting and are thinking of going back. I urge you to do it, it’s the greatest experience I ever had and I wish you all the luck in the world with it.

That concludes FriDad, have yourself a wonderful weekend, ‘till next time!

Many of you probably don't know but I wear glasses. Mainly for computer work and driving but I always struggle to find nice ones to choose. SmartBuyGlasses offer an affordable range of glasses online and also run an amazing scheme where they donate a pair of glasses for every pair you buy. I thought I would put a list of my favourites together!

(Clockwise from top left)

What type of glasses do you prefer? At the moment I have plain red rectangle style ones but looking at these I'm definitely up for changing!

How do they look?

Max is a bit of a wild child. Actually a bit is an understatement. He has wonderful moments of happiness and glee when he tells us that we are his best friends and he loves us. Then other moments where he tears your hair, the curtains and his drawers out until you have no idea what to do. 

Sometimes it's a struggle to work out why he does these things and then we remember that he is only two and a half and despite the amazing grammar he still finds things hard. 

I'm amazed with how he's grown up since he finished nursery. He can now dress and undress himself, sings full words and understands more than ever. 

I love him and despite the bruises, bald spots and constantly mending furniture I wouldn't change it for the world. 

Recently I've had loads of friends have babies or announce that they are pregnant. Whilst it's a really exciting time (and slightly envious time - can I have another one soon?) I always like to find fun and quirky gifts for them.

Babski Baby Boutique are an online store that sell loads of wonderful gifts for newborns that you may not have seen before. As well as working with some well known brands they also work with some new and more higher end quality products there is something that is perfect for a gift for your little one or someone else's.

Here are a few of my favourites.

1. Merry Berries Baby Hats - How adorable are these hats! 
2. Sheepskin Booties - Okay, I know kids shoes are totally unnecessary but these are too cute.
3. Beauty and The Bib - I love these bibs, I've never seen anything like them and always wanted something that was different and stood out from all the boring plain ones!
4. Baby Moccasins - I've seen so many Moccs that are really expensive and have always been put off buying them until I saw these soft ones.

Note: I was paid for this post.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

This summer we are trying to make the most of the time before Max starts preschool. One of the things we all love to do as a family is crafts. We have big imaginations but getting the ideas into reality can sometimes be a bit tricky for us.

Luckily we have persevered and have started and completed some amazing projects. First of all we took a trip to Hobbycraft as a family and picked up some art supplies. Everything from coloured card to paints and knitting needles. The best thing that we have made so far has been our ombre striped style bags.

Instructions:

Why do kid's shoes always look so damn good?! Maybe it's because most of them are replica's of adults and look itty bitty and sweet. Here are my favourites:

Toms Botas Red Bandana Print - 

I absolutely love these shoes, so much so that I got some for Max in the Office sale. They have velcro sides near the top of the shoe so that it's easier to slip on than laces. Also the pattern is so unusual and adorable that you can't help but fall in love for a little boy or girl. 

Vans Half Cab Shoes - 

These are amazing. Max has only just started to fit into high tops properly. He had a really bad case of cankles so now that he's getting taller the cute shoes are starting to fit him better! As with above I got these in a sale. 

Nike Blazers - 

Okay, I'll stop with the high tops. These are just too adorable. Max's god mum has a pair exactly the same so I would probably do that cheesy thing of making sure they had the same on whenever they saw each other.

Converse Lo Blue - 

Every kid needs a pair of Converse. They are made for jumping in leaves and trampling everywhere. Also the colour is fabulous!

Joules JNR Shark Welly - 

This pattern is the same as Max's lunch bag from Joules and I love it so much that I want the shoes so he has a matching set when he goes to play group in September.

The bag itself is really sturdy, a perfect size for little hands and surprisingly spacious for the small outside. We have been using it for the past week and Max has refused to eat any meal that isn't served in the lunch bag! I have to admit I have also been stealing it for when I've worked longer shifts at work... And I got compliments from everyone!